Every Question Has an Answer

From the spirit within ashes, we all can become

I rest in God

GOD IS GOD.  Forever may I converse in the universe’s language of intricate loud silence. May I converse in the rain, the shine, the snow, and the darkness of eve.  May GOD Shine its infinite Wisdom upon the universe.  May we all be illuminated by the 10,000 things.  NAMASTE.  Peace.

-fromghost [4:17 PM US EST]

Commentary: Nothing is solid, everything is energy, and if there is a soul

Today, I read an article on the website Collective Evolution titled, “Nothing is Solid & Everything is energy- Scientists Explain the World of Quantum Physics”

The article talks about how according to Quantum Physics nowadays, it is believed beyond reasonable doubt that everything is energy. Every atom if placed under a microscope would look like a miniature tornado of energy radiating its own energy signature.

The implications of this is that our bodies are not at all solid. Our bodies are no less than energy as the visible light coming from the lightbulb on the ceiling of our living room, or the gamma rays coming from our sun.

A few things to think about/food for thought:

If everything is energy, then does that mean that our bodies are part of our soul, or does our soul give off different energy than our body?

If everything is energy, is the energy coming from our bodies really a “soul,” or just the energy of our bodies?

What is the definition of a soul?

When we die, what happens to our energy? Because everything has gravity and everything is like a vortex of energy, perhaps at the center of every atom is a black hole that would absorb our energy when we die and put it into a different dimension? (I’m being serious here, not on any illicit drug although it may seem like it) Or, would our energy just be abosrbed by the rest of the energy of the universe?

What is the source of all of this energy? God? Chemical reactions? Both?

Pretty cool article.

-fromghost {7:58 PM US EST}

My take on what Marriage is

I used to think that marriage was something “more.” I get into a certain point in the relationship, and then I want “more,” so I get married. Mind you, I am not married yet and so I don’t know exactly what it feels like. However, after some time and meditation I realize that marriage ideally is just a statement of what already is. If I am 110% sure that I am all-content in how my relationship is, and even under practical and realistic terms don’t see anything happening bad to the relationship anytime soon, then marriage would be an option, but yet not mandatory. In true love there is no rush for marriage, although understandably it can be frustrating at times when one is ready for marriage and the other is not. Yet, many people have legitimate reasons to wait longer than the typical 4 to 5 years, and that should be accepted by the other party.

-fromghost {10:52 AM US ET}

More than what meets the eye.

It’s amazing how the benefits of meditation can be powerful and yet subtle at the same time.  Yesterday while with family I realized that at the time I was somewhat spoiled, perhaps grateful for many things…but still under the impression that at any given moment I was going to recieve superior treatment or rather material gifts and offers from my family.  I was a horrible feeling.  With that being realized, I decided at the time that I needed to meditate on humility asap for the sake of my sanity.  Yesterday night I meditated on mantras and other thoughts related to humility.  Today I woke up earlier than I normally do for work on Mondays and I meditated for about 20 minutes.  I had pictured myself without a body, just as a transparent, visually transparent aura of energy in the same exact place that I was doing my seated meditation.  That that felt very pleasant, and what I discovered is that it was even more beneficial than anticipated.

 

I had become much more humble, not expecting any special treats or gifts.  Also, today at work I realized that I had become much more accepting and acknowledging of my “Unidentifiable Social-Based Learning Disability” that was diagnosed with about 10 years ago.  I realized just how much energy and thought I had put in prior to this in pretending that my only real disability was my psychiatric disability, and acting as if I were too cool to have such great limitations on my sociio-emotional functioning.  Not only that, but I did not feel embarrassed or ashamed for having visible characteristics of a social based learning disability

I am very pleased by this success.  I have been meditating much more often of late (mainly silent, sitting meditation) and have seen substantial progress in my spiritual and emotional development.  I highly recommend giving the meditation that I had this morning, the one about picturing yourself as a body-less spirit, a try.  It would be interesting to hear from my readers if this and what other meditations have been successful for you.

 

-fromghost {7:44 PM US ET}

 

 

Boards of Doves

Time to chill.  Time to smile.

Time to break away from all ills of society.

 

Boards of Canada plays in the background

as I enjoy its bliss.  It makes me smile.

peaceful like a dove, yet powerful like a lion

I rest tonight in peace and with love in my heart.

 

With Love,

fromghost

-fromghost [9:48 PM US EST]

 

 

County Road T

A road filled with dreams and tranquility

dirt and dust ramble as the car drives down this majesty

Riding west from rural meadow into the Deep North Woods

that perfect moment that is right after the sun sets below the trees

but not yet dark.  Twilight. 

 

a light fog rests in the meadows.  sky clear from any light pollution

deep blues, yellow, light pinks as the sun gives light

to all things West before returning tomorrow.

traveling from one dream to another with grace

 

County Road T

A fancy from seemingly a million miles away

from the hustle and bustle of the big city, Chicago.
and at the same time only 6 or 7 hours by car.

 

A blissful silence takes upon the towns and communities

that inhabit these routes as God takes over,

 

My memories of County Road T are as symbolic of my childhood

as memories of being attached to stuffed animals

and what it felt like to be a Boy Scout.

 

Of dreams some have been realized,

some have passed and some have yet to come.

 

Yet as we speak, I could cherish my memories 

of County Road T for all of eternity

and in each moment my dreams

are and will be realized.

 

-fromghost {10:41 AM US EST}

 

 

Soul Returning, Returning from the Soul

walking delicately upon the forest floor during autumn when the leaves were down, I made no sound.  I had the ability to get very close to animals of the forest without frightening them.  Beaming with innocence at the time and having a passion for all things naturall, visiting the forest in the Appalachian Mountains of Northern New Jersey and later the American Midwest was a religious experience for me.  I am unsure now in hindsight what I was so fascinated about.  Perhaps because it felt like home.  I grew up in suburban homes of Northern New Jersey and the suburban area of Chicago.  So, maybe it was not literally like home.  However it very well could have been my home.  I spent so much time there up until I earned my Eagle Scout Award with the Boy Scouts of America that I think I actually felt more at home and more comfortable in the forest and in natural areas than I felt in home.

 

It’s amazing.  I could tell so many stories.  Like, for example the times that I would just fall asleep under the canopy on the ground with not even a sleeping bag or any shelter.  I could tell you of how majestic the Flambaeu River in Northern Wisconsin sounded at night right next to you.  Or, the times that I managed to get less than 3 feet away from White-Tailed Deer in winter seemingly not knowing that or caring at all that I was there.  Normally the first sight of a human they either freeze or run away.   I could also tell you about the 9 day canoe trip I took in Quetico Provincial Park in Northwest Ontario (a.k.a the Canadian Boundary Waters) where we portaged over 70 pound canoes with a hundred pounds on my back dredging through much chest deep, or over mountains and streams from lake to lake.  You could even drink the water straight from the lakes without risk of contracting diphtheria or Mountain Fever.  There are so many stories, and these stories of my relationship with nature really helped shape my identity as a child and young adult.

 

Of course, as with most other young adults, I had begun to lose some of that passion by the time I was 20 or 21.  The norm was no longer to let my soul explore, The norm was staying up late ordering “Dominoes Pizza” at 1:30 AM  and staying up just chilling out inside till 4 or 5 AM.  I began to be more concerned about social issues.  Looking back now, I feel my soul was somewhat rendered numb by the changes.

 

As I am now almost 30 now,  I dream of returning to my roots, revitalizing the soul to love the world as much as I did back then.  I cannot let myself get into a rut where I am not living up to my responsibility for my soul.  It possibly might not ever be the same.  But, never say never, and even if not so it is still worth a try.

With love…

 

-fromghost [10:55 PM US EST]

Untitled – Feburary 4th, 2014

This poem is inspired by my Mother’s struggle with cancer.  She is pretty much on her last whim at the time of this post’s composure.

I wait

for that last moment

before she gives her last breath

since she became despondent

since she gave the last smile to me,

before she gives any last smile.

A lull in the storm.

She sleeps, but not in death…just until death.

My heart shakes and rumbles.

Oh, at this point all I want is an end to her suffering.

No more painkillers hun. No more need,

No more pleads to God largely unanswered by any recovering.

A bittersweet silence we endure. Bittersweet this is.

She is alive, and yet she is not. Sleep should serve the justice

that she has deserved for all the pain she has,

and sleep unto eternal passing.

“I love you” is no longer a sentence that may be uttered by words…

it is an emotion sent the hundreds of miles away telepathically.

She knows. I know.

Just as a peace dove releases into the thin air and a blue sky,

A crow squawks with impending duty

and the Mourning Kaddish is soon recited upon a grave

on one cold, blustery February afternoon.

-{fromghost/Alexander Higgs  8:10 PM US EST}

When Will This Kick In?

It has been a little over a year since my Mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer.  By the time it was caught, the cancer had already spread to the lymph nodes and the brain.  It is amazing that she is still alive, as her original prognoses was 8 to 12 months.

 

It looks like now things are coming to the end.  She is withdrawn, cannot get out of bed alone, and sleeping basically all day long.  For a while, even now it hasn’t quite hit me yet that I could very likely lose my Mother within a few weeks or so.  It hits me in small doses here and there.  I think I might need to read and re-read the email that my Uncle (who’s taking care of her in Maine) sent giving me the latest update on the status.  That way, I can let it sink in a bit before she dies.

 

It is very difficult if not at all possible to predict how someone will react to loss.  However, I feel that it won’t really start sinking in real hard until the burial.  In Judaism, where my Mother’s family and her is from, the body must be buried within 3 days of death.  Often times there will be a funeral service, however always with a plain wooden casket.  Then, the body is transported to the Jewish cemetery where the burial happens.  This is in my opinion the hardest thing.  In Judaism, all of the mourners after reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish (a prayer for the dead), each mourner takes a turn at using a spaded shovel to very literally bury their loved one into the ground.  It’s a very tense, emotionally hardcore and raw experience.  Afterwards there is a Shiva, a.k.a week long period of communal mourning with open doors designed for people close to the mourner and other mourner’s for that death consul each other and share memories of the lost one.

 

I think that ultimately it is important to mourn and reconcile emotions immediately after death in the previously mentioned or similar practices.  That way it can pave the way for a psychologically healthy grieving process.  I hope my impending mother’s death hits me soon, that way I can mourn when I am supposed to feel ripped apart and broken, rather than just starting that practice only months or more after the death.

 

I guess for now the best thing I can do is get help for what I need help with, and pray.  My mother has declined to a point where she will most often not take phone calls.

 

-fromghost [9:56 PM US EST]

 

 

Version of the Truth- 8:32 PM US EST, December 8th, 2013

Everybody’s version of truth is different and unique.  As I am realizing further and yet further understanding of divine truth, I am doing a practice that I thought of.  Below is my fullest realization of what truth is as of right now.  In the future, I plan on writing again for the same purpose, except with my perception of truth at that time.

——

 

Cherry Blossoms bloom for only a couple weeks in the spring. And when the bloom season has stopped, all the petals fall to the ground and then the tree turns into a tree with leaves on it just like other deciduous trees.  A man lives his whole life striving for the beauty and rarity of the Cherry Blossoms of the Western Hemisphere  in his life.  He seeks everywhere, does everything. Yet at the same time he does nothing.  When he gives up on finding the cherry blossoms, he awakens to himself realizing that he had cherry blossoms all along, some in direct, others by indirect means.  When he realizes this, he is so profoundly struck that he decides to give cherry blossoms to all of his family, neighbors, and all of the town-folk.

 

-fromghost [8:34 US EST]

 

 

 

 

 

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